15 Reasons To Own An iPhone
1. It’s easy to use. Even a retard like me can figure it out.
2. It has Facetime capabilities that you’ll never use. Yet, it’s nice to have the
3. It has a finger print resistant, oleophobic (yes, we’re personifying the screen)
coating so you’ll only get fingerprints on it if you touch it.
4. It plays music. Just like every other Smartphone.
5. I heard you can take it anywhere (not yet confirmed).
6. It’s encased in glass so it only breaks if you drop it.
7. It costs a lot of money. It has to be good.
8. The promise of the iOS 5 is on the horizon. The release date should only be
pushed back about 5 more times before it’s actually available.
9. If you throw it in the toilet in a fit of rage, you can try to convince the Apple
Genius that you did not do any such thing. And the water sensors are going
off because of the humidity, of course.
10. Spending unreasonable amounts of money on a really wicked case is
completely justified since the phone won’t work without it.
11. All of those “anonymous” pictures that you definitely didn’t send to all your
followers on twitter of your ball sac in different positions will be in high
12. There’s an app for everything. Even porn! Oh wait, yeah not for porn.
13. The apps only fail when you’re doing something really, really, really, really
14. Auto-correct changes all of your curse words to more socially acceptable
alternatives “You’re a ducking count!”
15. It’s bright and shiny and made by Apple.